Humiliation Returned
by DragonWarriorM
Summary: It always ends up as Rukia who pounds Ichigo. But what if a certain author intends to intervene and even ONCE break the streak that Rukia has? DISCONTINUED
1. Prologue Part 1

This is fic is very dedicated to making Rukia look--- well, let's just say she's gonna be put in the situations she would have most hated. You may wonder, "what's my inspiration of this fic" The truth is… usually Rukia dominates Ichigo to a bloody crisp, so I would wonder what would happen if I step in and humiliate (please, don't flame me for doing so… it just keeps bugging me all the time about it) her for him. Hopefully these don't turn into bad, sore burns for those who actually like her… No offense, Rukia.

Rukia: WHAT! You're just wanting me to get bashed!

MofLoD: Do. The. Disclaimer. NOW.

Rukia: … Umm… Lol?

MofLoD: -sigh- Do you even know that means?

Rukia: Of course I do! It means… Lo---

MofLoD: Not. Even. Close. Not funny, either. Point of this was to do disclaimer. But you had to turn it into this. It can't be helped, no wonder Ichigo hates you… . On second thought, before you can actually attempt to fight back…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. DON'T ASK.

P.S. This is, first of all, my first Bleach fic. Second of all, the only other fic I have ever made is the one for Legend of Dragoon (which turned out to be crap, especially half of it since I didn't want swears involved). Third, if you would translate the words "this is my first fic" into English, it would mean "I will probably suck. BAD." Fourth, and finally, I've just obtained my recent obsession with Bleach… Oh screw it. I'll just paste the rest of what I want to say on later chapters. Most important thing to say, trying not to put in spoilers. On with the story.

* * *

It's a bright sunny day, in everyone's opinion. It would've been called a peaceful day… but, since the streets were empty, everyone would have to rely on me to pick a word to describe the background. Well, I'll just say that it was everything BUT quiet… the sounds of anchors hitting people on the head, the sound of "baka", the sound of… no wait, that's where this story begins…

"Baka!"

"Okay, what was THAT one for, Rukia! All I said is that today was the PRE-test, not the actual test!"

"Nuh-uh! You said that I was SURE to fail since I didn't pass this once!"

A pause. Then some thoughts. Oh, yeah, and once again, the girl wins. The orange-haired boy named Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck, and if I didn't know better, I'd say his eye was… twitching… "Well…"

"Well? We need to study for the test, don't we?"

"My ass that WE need to study. While you wasted your time looking at mangas and drawing your head off on those bunny faces, I took the liberty of actually studying!"

With arms folded one across another across her chest, Rukia gave a "hmph" in the air and then proceeded to just turning away and marching towards the direction of his house, not bothering to look him in the eye until once there.

"Wait… oi, Rukia, where's Kon?"

"Obviously, he's going to be, once again, catastrophically… dressed up by your sisters and hurled around like an inanimate object."

"You can't blame the poor 'inanimate object' for being 'alive', can you? Besides…" Dropping himself onto his bed, turned in a position where he was looking up at the ceiling, he continued. "I give more of a damn for Yuzu then Kon. Ten-fo---- Million-fold, as a matter of fact."

"Wow, he's that much of an insect to you?"

"No, really? How much value WOULD he be?"

"Well, that plushie was free, wasn't it?"

"Ya, but--- you're completely missing my point! My point was--- argh! I don't even know what it was anymore! Man!" Ichigo was now waving his hands high in the air and waving them like crazy--- no wait, he just stopped. With another sigh, he starts talking again. "It's always you, out of all the girls, who kicks my ass, isn't it?"

"What other girl would do so? Orihime?"

"No… acts way too shy around me, much more so when we--- WE are not in a battle. All others are just plain bakas."

"As if that isn't obvious…" She raised her head and turned towards the window, looking out. No one was in sight. "Well, hollow duties are in a bit, no?"

"Ya…" Another sigh follows. "Sometimes, I just wish that I could get back at you… just ONCE… just once!"

"Like that will ever happen."

"True… like that will ever happen."

Beeping. A cell phone. Plus a certain object that resembles an amulet. Ten seconds later, the room is empty.

However, one of the lessons in life, is the lesson that you should be careful with what you wish for…

* * *

So? How'd it go! Hopefully at least one review will come on and say, "it didn't suck", or at least, "it was… okay"! PLEASE! Anyone! Review! I don't want to be dumped like last fic…

Hopefully I will be able to update. Laziness may overtake, I might be flamed out of my stomach, or… my bro will be around too much (when he's around, let's just say I'd prefer to make sure I don't play that much computer around him… I dunno why, really, I just do). Well, hopefully I do update soon. Now to press that update button…


	2. Prologue Part 2

Well then, without further ado, second chapter.

Did I say without ado? I'm sorry… I mean that the camera's busted…

Anyways, I just try to use the best grammar I can, as one of the people who reviewed me said something about my writing style. Rather, there was one mistake in it (which wasn't really grammar), but I think no one noticed… and I'm too lazy to change it… so ya.

Hint: There will be… hmm, ten days. Plus the prologue (two chapters), and one or two chapters for epilogue. For now, I'll try to use the worst ideas I have, tenth day being… I "think" it's gonna be best.

Hint: "I" will be in the fic. In case you wonder, yes, I will mess up my personality in some ways, including being an… ACTOR. Oh yes, lots of acting… what's more is that… oh yeah! We're not that far yet! Fine, I'll try setting a preview of next chapter later on.

Disclaimer: … You have to torture every other author, but you don't spare me… do you? I. Do. Not. Own. Bleach. If I did… erm… I would try to make an epilogue for Bleach.

Disclaimer #2: I am not Kubo Tite.

Side note #1: Well, I doubt this is gonna be much of an IchigoxRukia fic… no, wait, it might be. Ah, it may or may not. Depends on how it will go.

Side note #2: … Romance, Humor, and Fantasy I think.

Side note #3: … Rated T for swearing, though there is nothing… other than that, really. As far as I know.

Side note #4: The one you've been waiting for: LET THE FIC BEGIN!

* * *

Hollow sliced in half, three more having their bodies stabbed through and killed instantly… Ichigo has leveled up. No no wait, in hollow hunting, he's already level 99. 

"So… any more?"

"Nah, that's fine, I'm sure. They're all gone on my sensors, Ichigo."

A sigh follows. "Alright. Let's get back home to study… well, in your case, anyways."

"What was that!" These people get into arguments way too frequently… and Ichigo, being used to Rukia owning him all the time (powers or no powers, she uses superhuman strength, whilst Ichigo has to follow the code of men of "not hitting girls"), allows her to win, now even FASTER than before.

Oh, and you guessed it! By the time they got home, Ichigo had ended up looking very glum. On second thought, glum my face. He looked like… the apocalypse was happening and he was highly depressed.

In truth though, there was something… there was something that bugged him. He didn't suspect something like Rukia's brother to come and kill everyone with Senbonzakura (the thought of it, in fact, was creepy… all the gore he would see… insert pointless shudder here) or something, but… an odd feeling of… something which he would sorta like, sorta not.

On the subject of Rukia though, he still wished he could get back at her… no wait, scratch that. He felt like the very reason he was afraid was because of… them… oh forget it, why's he making a big deal of it anyways? It wasn't like he could see the future or anything, why worry?

"Ichigo, I busted the closet door."

On third thoughts, ya, maybe he should worry. With a sigh, he checked to see what the problem was. "You got your shoe stuck."

"Thanks." All of a sudden, she heard something from (unexplainably) nearby the closet bed. Something like… a 'bonk' noise. Maybe it was on top, maybe it was beneath, maybe it was even through the wall (that was common, it wouldn't freak Rukia out really). "Er… did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. Oh look, I guess I can't study… it's already 1 in the morning!"

"Whatever, I don't care about your marks, I care about mine. I need to have some form of sleep or else I'll fall over during the test."

"Alright, Goodnight then, Ichigo."

"Goodnight."

* * *

(somewhere else, in a cramped area…) 

My thoughts rush through my head. _Dammit, it's cramped over here… if they ever find me around this place, they're going to sue my bum off. Oh well, this is still another world. What's there to sue me out of? I just bust out of prison using my… forget it. My goal was to have ten days of fun._ With a sigh, I mentally slap myself for making such a long thought in half a second. Then I look up. Well, there's Rukia there, sleeping. No, we're supposed to save those other things for later on… after all, this was going to be public.

* * *

"Okay class, we have a new student. His name is…" Ichigo's and Rukia's crazy-my-lazy teacher announced gleefully at first, but shuddered at the point where she said 'his name is…'. "His name is… Mof… MofLoD, but he likes to be called Bob." 

Ichigo nearly burst out into laughter like everyone else, like Keigo, but as sane he was, he wanted to keep his cool. Plus, as being a Kuchiki, Rukia made sure not to laugh at the name (but rather just a smile). It was JUST a name, no?

It was a tall boy, about Ichigo's height, of course wearing the uniform, with short brown hair, and brown eyes, face normal, somewhat resembling Ichigo and his frown. Except, this frown wasn't as heavy.

Then an idiot came in (who actually had no position in this story at all that was important) and lightly slapped his knee with one hand and the other on the new student's shoulder. "You have got to be joking! Hello, 'Bob-sa'—"

KA-POW. Punched into unconsciousness, grabbed by the throat and choked a bit, and thrown out of the classroom, the new kid fancied himself at that man's desk and looked at the contents of the inside, who actually had quite convenient equipment for him to use. Looking satisfied, he apologizes to the teacher who says, "who cares? That was a Yankee anyway!"

Did I forget to mention that the seat was right … well, the one in behind Rukia. Rukia flashed him a quick smile and the boy just gave her the grim looks of the undead, and a smile that she could've sworn took a cracking of the jawbone to create.

But Ichigo and Rukia didn't suspect that it was me… did they?

* * *

Ar… only thing I gotta ask is, "can anyone tell me if there's anyone important that sits behind Rukia?" Because I need to change it if is. Got that? Okay, thanks! Please, more reviews, may I add, and also, I'm working on the next chapter once this one is posted. 


	3. Day 1 Part 1

So. Now I am getting ticked off. The amount of reviews are just plain low… c'mon, people, review. I get more and more discouraged each day. I mean like, a few hours ago… I was much able to write as much as I wanted to until like, 9pm, but nooooo, you guys just WOULDN'T review!

Asides from that, I will now… once again, start the fic.

Twin Disclaimers: I do not own Bleach, because I am also not Kubo Tite.

* * *

"Ichigo…" A juice box. Wow. It was very surprising Rukia STILL didn't know how to open a simple juice box. I mean like… not only, is she a hundred-fifty year old, but she's… like, a shinigami that is SUPER SMART (I'll emphasize the words sarcastically… why not…) with her DEMON ARTS, and also her… shinigami VETERANALITY (okay, that's not even a word…), and also… damn. I'm outta thoughts. 

Well, I was at a lucky spot to sit. That student who hit me is just a plain idiot, though, nonetheless, I thanked his comatose form for the locked and loaded desk. Now, why am I voicing out my thoughts when everyone wants to hear the conversation?

"Che, another juice box? What do I have to get you enrolled in? Toddler class?"

"Take that back!"

"No!"

"I'll kill you if you don't." Death gaze inserted.

"Ahhhh……. If you would look behind you Rukia, you would know that you shouldn't be talking."

Right, right… it was still class time, class was making ruckus, teacher not giving a damn or otherwise, oh yeah, and that's right! Ichigo was talking about poor ol' me… allow me, as a regular human who has supernatural powers surpassing that of the strongest shinigami in the universe, to insert a grim look that completely consumes the meaning of Rukia's… "death gaze". Bah, I talk too much in this chapter. On with the serious stuff.

"Ahh, Bobby-ku---"

"I would prefer to be called Matthew, if you please…" Allow me to continue my "talks-too-much" personality. Yes… Rukia's death gaze means death. My grim looks? It means depression for all those who look at me.

"I'm sorry, Matthew…" Slightly wavering in the voice, Rukia wondered why a grim look from a human (FYI, she doesn't know…) would scare her out of her wits. It was almost as cold as her own brother's look (which was THE most fool-proof COLD look in ALL of Soul Society, shinigami, and beyond). Second best death glare went to Unohana (even if she never really meant/tried attempted it), and finally, Yachiru (wow, girls are overpowered over boys… maybe half the reason I'm writing this fic) with a bronze medal! Ne-ver-mind. She would've gotten very hyper even over the topic of the word BRONZE. Okay okay, I'll try my best to stop inserting this pointless crap over the face of my fic? OKAY! GOOD!

"Yes, that's quite all right, Kuchiki-DONO…."

"What was that title you used?"

"Kuchiki-san…"

"Oh. I thought you said something else."

"What did you think I used? Dono or something?"

"Ahhhhhh… no, not at all… sorry again, and I'll allow you to get back to work!"

"Already done." No, really? I own this fic, I can finish my homework whenever I want.

"Ooo, fast!"

Insert pointless sigh here. "Answers are, dog-horse-rabbit, -kun, Bleach…"

"What's a bleach again?"

"You BAKA!" Ichigo speaks. "It's used for laundry detergent!"

"Oh yeah!"

I bet the whole class could here my jaw crackle and me cracking my thumb… with not a furious look, but still the depressing grim look. Bare whispers were among the crowd. Odd, I didn't recall everyone just stopping for no reason.

"Who does he think he is?"

"What is Kuchiki-san and Kurosaki-kun talking about?"

"What is Kuchiki-kun and Kurosaki-san talking about (yes… not much of a difference…)?"

"Did he finish his homework within the hour?"

"He… Wait, look at his sheet! Yes, he is! Even that freaky four-eyes dude didn't beat him!"

"What did you call me?"

"I could've sworn I heard that new kid using the title dono!"

"As if, he's so grim, he probably wouldn't even USE it!"

Oh yeah… the most pointless question of all… "I could've just SWORN and BET like a million dollars that I heard those three talking about Kuchiki-san not being able to open a JUICE BOX!"

Somehow, this half-entertains me so I fake a dark mask under my soul (which takes the form of a smiling face). "Okay everyone! That's good! Kuchiki-san and Kurosaki talked about nothing of the juice box sort, I didn't use the title dono, that FREAKY FOUR-EYES is freaky, I beat him to it, but he's still canon smarter (I don't care whether or not I said that right), YES, I did finish the homework within an hour, they're talking about homework, TIMES TWO, I think that I have enough common sense to know that you guys are all idiots, and…would you LOOK AT THAT! The teacher's coming back!"

Before anyone can talk, the teacher speaks. "Good morning everyone, I---" Just as she settles to sit down on the chair… everyone hears a farting noise.

* * *

Who coulda thought that my ten days of fun would start here? Obviously, I did…

* * *

Well then, how'd that one go? I'm gonna try and work on the second chapter on day 1, and then it's gonna get even better (hopefully)! -uses grim look on you- However, I do wish for reviews… and if you don't do so, I'll use Getsuga Tenshou on you, Shirayuki's first dance to freeze you and cut you into little icicles, and personally, I'll… -massages chin with forefinger and thumb- send Zaraki after you, promising him an invitation fight from the one and only, Ichigo. SO REVIEW.

* * *


	4. Day 1 Part 2

It's 11:20pm at night. I'm waiting for Naruto at 2am because I missed it at 8pm due to some circumstances…

Twin Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, I do not own Bleach, I do not own you, I own me, and if I were Kubo Tite, why would I be here now?

Side note: Jadeb, I am a Rukia fan… except, I got the idea women are way too over-powered in animes. Just look at Naruto! Sakura + Sasuke vs. Naruto o.O … But still, I have to pay heed to the flaming thing. I've been trying to avoid as much flaming as possible, but it… sorta may stray to that course. However, what you told me was still a review, if not a good or bad one, and… I really appreciate it. This fic is based on… Ichigo triumphing over Rukia. If it makes you feel better, I'll try to add something to the end.

The farting noise erupts like a complete volcano… what is intriguing, however, is that it comes from where the teacher is.

One second… two seconds… three seconds… fo--- three seconds and a half. That's all it takes for the entire class to dissolve into complete laughter. The teacher stands shocked, and ten seconds later, she starts yelling out into the classroom, "who did that! Which one of you Yankees pulled off something like that… that… whoopee cushion!"

Ichigo, HALF-amused.

Rukia, SHOCKED.

Me? Laughing with the class, shocked at the reaction, AND half-amused. Then I run the end of my joke through the spear… "Ahh, may I go to the bathroom now, sensei?"

"No!" Gritted teeth from the teacher become visible.

"Aaa, I'm---" I just HAVE to stop there because I just have to say, that line is the corniest THING I would have used in life in anything, all week. If, I was serious. I'm just using this HUGE dramatic voice, similar to the one used by Rukia… so many flashbacks… I remember episode… 11, was it of the anime? Continuing what I said… "I'm sorry, sensei… I'm very sorry… I should've known better to ask when you were annoyed with the person who placed the cushion… fine, I admit it. I did it! Please, just punish me now for doing something so horrible!"

Six words! To. Think. She. Actually. Bought. It. She started comforting me, saying things like "it's okay". Side note, I was just sobbing, no tears. Tears were just… plain sad. I prefer my reputation, even in an alternate world, over some lame--- good joke(s). The class was on the buzz eventually on my behavior. They weren't as idiotic as my so-called "teacher", and they knew perfectly well I was doing the drama.

Soon, I just said "I really want to go to the bathroom, using the can eases my day." With a nod of her head, she went back to her desk and with the "oh, sob, oh, cry," face, with, my face in hands, might I add, I quickly stumbled over to the washroom, and… no… I just idled there for about… forty-five seconds. Then, I preceded right back to the classroom, and I told the teacher something, with the teary face that just MAY match Keigo's.

"Teacher, there's something you must know. The one who did it wasn't me… I… was dared for five hundred yen… to admit that I was the prank master… the one who really did it was…" Just in a bare whisper… "Th--- the girl… with the black hair that has that raven color and has it reaching down up to her shoulders… the one beside the guy in the orange hair…"

WOW! The teacher knew how to gasp! "You mean, Miss Kuchiki!"

"Yes! I was told this info by that guy over there named Keigo… he wasn't involved or anything, he just saw them running while you were out of the classroom because I was a new person, and… and… please, don't tell them that I alerted you!"

"What about the guy in orange hair? Was he talking to Miss Kuchiki?"

"Y—Yes, yes he was, but I heard him trying to stop her from attempting the prank… but she did it, and bribed that guy to stop, as well as seeing me and bribing me too, and telling me to take the fault!"

"Okay, I will talk to her at lunch time today to stop any suspicion of you being found out."

"Thank you, sensei! I owe you a lot!" I just started gleefully skipping in place (not to mention the girly happy face).

I knew it was expected. I knew that they weren't idiots like most others in the class. As soon as I reached my seat, Ichigo sent me a questioning look, whilst the black-haired girl that I had framed flashed a super-fake smile. Quickly, I inserted a sniffle before turning to my book.

(lunch time…)

"That is all, everyone." The teacher was still upset about what happened (how OOC!), and was on the verge of slamming at the desk. Oh boy! The legendary Voice of Hatred! "However, I would like Miss Kuchiki to stay here for a while after lunch please."

"Oh, sensei! I'm very sorry, but I must leave on important business to… to…"

Holding a hand up to silence her, she interrupted by making her own sentence. "Stay, Miss Kuchiki."

"Alright."

By that time, I had propelled myself in a ventilation shaft, ready to watch what would happen… waiting… waiting… oh wait.

"Miss Kuchiki, I have heard that you have been pulling off… pranks. Is this true?"

"Pranks? What is a pr---" I forgot to mention, I don't think she knew what that word means… oh, and Rukia was wishing she had Ichigo around… or a dictionary (nah, the teacher would probably get suspicious). "What is a prank?"

"I would prefer you not to play dumb with me." Evil glares all around from miss sensei in the front desk… "I will let you off this time with a warning this time, but if I catch you doing it again---"

"Doing what?"

"Don't play dumb! That whoopee cushion from this morning!"

"Ahh… okay, sensei! I promise I won't do it again!"

"You better not, or it will result… in…" Cue the evil music! "DETENTION…"

"Yes, sensei!" Then she just vanished to who knows where.

The teacher sighed, and started talking to herself. "I bet that girl isn't a prankster, I just have to guess that one of her old-age friends taught her or bribed her somehow."

So much for Rukia's acting. I don't blame her… I'm the author, after all. Author equals power, power equals freedom, freedom equals… power? Nah, pain.

(lunch time, at the table)

"ARE YOU SERIOUS RUKIA? YOU GOT THREATENED BY THE TEACHER TO GO INTO DETENTION! WOW! AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE BAD!" Well, of course Ichigo would use a line like that… it's not surprising to me. He, of all people, would think that THE Rukia, Kuchiki Rukia, brother of Byakuya Kuchiki, whose brother had captain status, ACTUALLY GOT THREATENED TO GET A … DETENTION.

However, Rukia didn't take this lightly. She silently elbowed him in the ribs ("ow") and left him doubling over in pain on the floor. "More of the "juice", Inoue-san!"

"Alright!"

After Ichigo had recovered, he sat up straight and started rubbing his sides. Little did he know that Keigo was so dumb, he didn't realize that I put a tape recorder in his pocket.

"But Rukia-chan!" Down with Mizuiro and all other pervs! Oh well, they're required. "Why did you get in trouble? Who did this?"

"I don't know, I was thinking that maybe the teacher made a mistake!" If you would look closely, you would have guessed that she was using a smile that would mimic a smile of PLASTIC SURGERY. "Oh well, it's fine. It's just a warning, right?"

Footsteps could be heard behind Ichigo and Rukia. Keigo took a good look at the person. "Ah, if it isn't the new student, Bobby-ku---"

POW! A fist in the face. "Don't use that name. That's fake. Call me….. ah… ahhhh… Matthew."

"Matthew! That's not even Japanese!" Wow, Mizuiro was talking again.

"Yes, but I could give a damn less." My eye was now twitching… falsely… "Oh, and I'm a school leaping student, I'm supposed to stay here ten days only… or something like that. So therefore…"

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

(after lunch time, in the hell-befallen classroom…)

I had gotten, twenty MORE pounds of homework.

Ichigo had ALSO gotten twenty more pounds of homework.

Keigo and Mizuiro had each gotten twenty-ONE pounds of homework.

Whilst Rukia was… stuck with the task of twenty-two. The teacher was soft on her… no, that's an understatement. ALL TEACHERS are soft on her. Especially males. But that's off-topic.

Plus, once again, I had finished my twenty pounds of homework within thirty minutes, with my super-extraordinary powers.

Okay okay, I'll TRY to be nice to Rukia… while she was pointlessly arguing over some useless thing with Ichigo… for a bit… I had written all the answers on a piece of paper, signed it with Keigo, and placed it open on Rukia's desk. With Ichigo's back turned as he was doubling over in pain… again…

"Huh? Ah, thanks for the answers Asano-kun!"

"What answers?"

"Nothing!"

Now, to close this chapter with a binding spell once and for all… ah yes, a nice ending for this part of the story! The entire gang of Ichigo somehow ended up with answers for every piece of homework they got, went home happy, played games, ate dinner, end of line… but for the orange-haired teen and the very VERY annoying woman he knew that was over a hundred fifty years old (but was NOT A HAG), it was different.

(Ichigo's room)

"You BAKA! You're eating the noodles wrong! It goes like this!"

"For the last time, I've been doing that the past few attempts! It just-keeps-drooping-off the chopsticks!"

Take an example of another argument. "You BAKA, you spilled the water all over the floor!"

"No I didn't! You're the one who shoved me!"

Don't blame me. I'll have to shake my head and say, these are… natural concepts of their daily life. Okay, I didn't capture it the SUPER TOTALLY RIGHT way or anything, but… you get the concept. From where I was, I see all that happened… I forgot to mention, one more thing.

(Keigo's room)

"AHHH! What's this tape recorder doing here!"

So, how'd it go? Dumb? Stupid? LOTS of flames? Hope not… what's there to say? I like reviews, good, bad, neutral… sorry for how long the update took, in my life… things kept appearing. Couldn't update… and ya. I'll try to update A.S.A.P!

(preview for next chapter)

"You're impossible, Rukia. Hey wait, what's that noise?"

"Huh? What noise? Wait… I sense… I sense…"

"YOU!" A red-haired person appears and knocks the orange-haired hero on the head.

"You… what're YOU doing here! B—but… that's… no… what's HE doing here?" Ichigo, said, pointing at a person dressed in the same white robes he had seen several times before.


	5. Day 2 Part 1

La la la… la la la… -eats popcorn- Oi! What do you people want? Oh yeah, a chapter.

Seriously… I didn't get a single review last chapter. . It can't be helped, however. Wait, one second…

Me: -looks at Keigo whom is drooling at my form eating popcorn- WTH do you want?

Keigo: Ahhhhh… -literal drooling, drool comes out of his mouth, and makes a puddle on the floor-

Me: … I hereby call upon… Ichigo! I now enchant him with… the magic card Boost! Now, I will directly attack Keigo!

Ichigo: What am I doing here?

Me: Ahhh… kicking Keigo's ass?

Ichigo: I'll live with that. -kicks Keigo's ass-

Me: -shakes head- Sorry guys. Backstage, everything is just… wow…

Rukia: -appears in the background holding a sign that says "I do not own bleach"- Ichigo, what is this brown thing with white spray on it?

Me: Ah… supposedly, I'm supposed to hold that because… oh forget it. I do not own bleach.

Ichigo: Baka! That's a sign!

Rukia: Ooo! Sign!

Me: Needless to say. Sorry for wasting time. -shakes head- On with the fic…

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Side Note 1: It's official. My fic SUCKS! Oh well. I'm starting to create a new one, no peeps though!

Side Note 2: I'm not/wasn't able to use lines (depending on when I post this, when I'm in the mood)!

---

(8:45AM, Ichigo's room)

"Baka! Why didn't you wake me up sooner!"

"You're impossible! First, you wake up all the time whenever you want, but this once you fail to wake up?"

"You're supposed to check up on me every morning!"

"No I'm not! It's… just… WRONG!"

Rukia raised an eyebrow. "How so?" She had half-a-brain on Earth things. Still. Sure, in Soul Society, there were some cases in which people were--- okay, forget it. I'm not explaining… and that's not accurate. I'd have to shake my head at the two idiots…

Ichigo somehow succeeded in hiding a blush due to his clueless friend and proceeded to dragging her out of the window, closing it, and proceeding to the front door. "Gomen Yuzu, I don't feel hungry today. Save the rest for lunch today, okay?"

Yuzu could be heard saying "fine, Ichi-nii!" before he left.

Ichigo didn't mistake Rukia for a weakling, and already knew she had recovered and taken off to school. Seeing no sign of the two idiots in the case of women, he shook his head lightly and walked to school.

That is, while I used a Scroll of Transportation.

---

(some day in the Universe of Bleach, school… 8:55AM)

"Where has that baka gone to now? I've checked the classroom and the lockers, and even outside--- no, there's only one place I can think of where she would be…" Ichigo said to himself, not trying to conceal the blush that appeared on his face once he realized where she was.

Any day now… forget it, if Rukia's late, then it's her fault, right? At least, that's what Ichigo was thinking. He didn't wanna be late. He stepped into classroom at exactly 8:58:59AM.

But… Rukia? Hmm, do gigais need bathrooms? Nah, in this fic, no. She was on the roof. Don't ask how, don't ask why, don't say "Ichigo would've known", because that's … off-topic… oh yeah, cue the bell ring at 8:59AM! "Ah krud. I'm gonna be late! Damn Ichigo!"

Lemme make a timelist for all that happened. At 8:59:05AM, Rukia dashes through the roof's door. At 8:59:06AM, she's running down the stairs. At 8:59:25AM, she reaches the door to the floor of their classroom. At 8:59:30AM, she trips on a banana peel (by yours truly, signed by MofLoD). At 8:59:40AM, she recovers and is running like mad, jumping like a horse and wasting stamina like crazy, and at 8:59:59AM, she is just about to turn into the classroom, but is knocked right out by me, who just came in. So much for being "early by a second."

"Ahhhh… Oh? Matthew-kun? Sorry! I have to---" Too late.

"Miss Kuchiki!" Surpising that the teacher was happy again after a good night's worth of sleep. I mistake her for an idiot anyway--- no… wait… since when do I mistake idiots for smartasses? "You were late by… seven seconds! Oh well, seven seconds, it's nothing big!"

"Ooo, thank you sensei! I'll be taking my seat now!" After putting on a smile that was practically the complete opposite from Ichigo's frown/scowl/sad smile/mad smile/mad sad/upside down smile, right side up frown/etc. (though, adding to opposites, it was also fake).

"Now, did everyone finish their homework?"

For the first time ever, everyone raised their hands. Except me.

"Ohh? You didn't finish?"

"No no, I just did the stuff three days ahead too!"

"Ahh! Good work, Bob!"

The moment anyone tried to grin at me with the false name, I used a bit of Genjutsu (first of all, if you don't know, it means illusionary techniques, and also, I know I ripped it offa Naruto, but don't ask) to stun peoples' minds. Exception befalls Inoue. Ishida's so much of a geek (hey, I can't say I'm not in real life, but do I give a damn… no), he was actually admitted into the list. The three people listed as Chad, Rukia, and Ichigo never made it in the list, because for one, I was lazy, and for two, I never needed to add.

"Why, thank you, sensei!" MASSIVE fake smile. Even MORE so than Rukia! Nah, I'm just a temporary by-stander. Ah well!

"Now, if you would turn to page 173 of…"

(lunch time that day… in front of school)

Argh… T-minus three seconds countdown till' weakness befalls idiots. T-minus two, T--- whatever.

"Finally! We found this… school thingy!"

"I kept telling you, it was here the entire time. But you kept persisting on going to that other place which isn't even CLOSE to this… school." Clearly, the black-haired man was pissed.

"Ah, c'mon. They coulda just given us better instructi---"

"Senb---"

"Okay okay! I get the point! Let's just go!"

"…"

---

(lunch time, cafeteria)

"Wow. So… why're you glum all of the sudden?"

"Do you need to know?"

"Ye--- AGH!" Ichigo got slapified then kicked backwards… very painfully.

As a member of the… new… group… sorta… I made a statement. "Hey guys, don't you think that something will happen now that it's gotten really silent?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're impossible, Rukia. Hey wait, what's that noise?"

"Huh? What noise? I sense… I sense…"

"YOU!" A red-haired person appears and knocks the orange-haired hero on the head.

"You… what're YOU doing here! B—but… that's… no… what's HE doing here?" Ichigo, said, pointing at a person dressed in the same white robes he had seen several times before. "Oh, and not to mention the fact that all you shinigami just keep bugging me day and night!"

"Pay respects to nii-sama, baka!" The black-haired man just raised an eyebrow at the shinigami who beat him being pounded by his YOUNGER, not to mention, WEAKER sister.

"Damn you, Byakuya! Get her off!"

"… Rukia, stay on him. He's pissing me off," Byakuya answered.

"Ha ha hilarious, this is just like the time we left you in the dirt!" The idiot named Renji had to cry.

"You bastard! I was weaker back then! Oh ya, and speaking of which, I beat you and woulda killed you, had it not been for Mr. I'm-the-brother-of-a-girl-who-beats-an-orange-hair-punk-every-day, as an FYI!"

"What was that, crap for brains?"

"Crap for brains? Clearly you cannot see that you are the one who's dumber, adding to that the fact that you're weaker!"

"Wh---"

There wasn't a second chance to retort as I quickly hauled Ichigo from under the air that used to be Rukia's leg (by the hair, may I mention) and Renji by the throat and shoved them in class. I followed through (man, I love being cool, don't I). The entire group of non-idiots (including me) turned to their seats while Mister Red-Head and Mister Orange-Head dusted themselves and proceeded.

"Class, meet Abarai Renji and Kuorasaki Byakuya." Their sensei was talking, and everyone could tell (the entire male population that wasn't gay) that all the girls including their sensei herself was in love with Byakuya. Well… not to mention… Rukia, of course. Sure… they were half-related plus quarter related (half being her sister marrying him, quarter being her accepted into the noble house)…

But, nonetheless, Byakuya was…

One, pissed.

Two, pissed.

Three, had his eye twitching.

Lastly, he was half-way to calling upon his shinigami mode and using Senbonzakura on them all (amen to his shikai… after all, bankai wasn't necessary).

However, Ichigo wondered why he had the Kuchiki plus Kurosaki mixed name. He turned to his former adversary (… well… former may be a little off, but who cared) and asked what was with the name. The near-emotionless man turned to the orange hair and said that they were ordered to stay in his class for a day… following orders… including having a fake name, so that the names KUCHIKI Rukia and KUCHIKI Byakuya wouldn't be compared.

The rest of the schoolday was heck (a million pardens, Cap'n Yamamoto, Gotei 13…), but what was even worse was… the time that was spent in Ichigo's room.

---

Anyway… ah man… I am SO happy. Not to be a geek, but break is ending soon, and I can proceed to going back to my old school. Wonder if they'll remember me, let alone that bastard Victor… oh yes, I'm gonna snap his neck good… ha ha ha.

Plus, the quote I used to my brother… "the moment school will start, I will wish it were two days later." Can you guess why? Because Bleach is airing in Canada on YTV at 10:30PM starting September 8! Eat that, and this toxic grenade! HA!

Now I'm plain happy. But lazy… fine, preview.

---

(preview for next chapter)

"Ichigo?"

"Ya?" the orange-haired man replied.

"What is that contraption you have there?" asked Renji.

"It's called a computer."

"A what?"

"A computer. You play games and all that shit here in the real world using it."

"Nice, can I try?"

"Nah, don't think you should. There's a lot of extreme language and---" Without a second word, the laptop was snatched out of his hands. It was then that all heck broke loose.

Possibly also the moment that hell pig messengers would be flying.


End file.
